Miss Informed

Things no one answers:

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Do stairs go up or down?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out Woman Hitler?"
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put
them at the end of the bathrooms ?
Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?
Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
Seeing as cupid is so good at matchmaking, does he have a girlfriend?
Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn’t people aim for their head or crotch?
Can you fart and burp at the same time?
If you could walk through the walls, wouldn’t you fall through the floor?
If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?
If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?
How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Why do they call it “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” when they know the answer is going to be everyone?
Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn't an exterminator be the opposite?
How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?
If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
How come it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathcliff Huxtible?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Have ex-bankers become disinterested?
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?
Have ex-punsters been expunged?