Stupid Questions

10 most stupid questions asked in obvious situations:

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... Stupid Question: - Hey, what are you doing here? Answer: - Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question: - Sorry, did that hurt? Answer: - No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question: - Why, why him, of all people. Answer: - Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter - Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years... Stupid Question: - Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer: - Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer: - No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question: - Sorry. Were you sleeping? Answer: - No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... stupid Question: - Hey have you had a haircut? Answer: - No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer: - No it won’t. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Stupid Question: - Oh, so you smoke. Answer: - Gosh, it's a miracle ........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!


Other peeves:


People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dick nose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fucking pulled me over.

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!